NetHack [3.1]: Nothing Lasts Forever

 

          

"If dragons and vampire lords and demon princes don't offer any real danger, what at this point could possibly kill me?"

                          --Chester N. Bolingbroke, 1 game hour ago

      

The answer is: a cockatrice egg. I didn't even know that was a thing. If they existed in 3.0, I don't remember or never encountered one. I'm not sure how I could have told that it wasn't a regular egg.

   

I was on dungeon Level 45. I had found a boulder at the end of a hallway. Some earlier version of NetHack hid Wands of Wishing beneath boulders at the ends of hallways in Hell, so I felt I needed to smash every boulder, just in case. I smashed this one, and there was an egg. "Cool!" I thought. "A little bit of nutrition between meals!" I ate it right off the floor. I took a step, and a message flashed by that I missed. One more: "Your limbs are stiffening." Maybe something could have healed me at this point--the unicorn horn?--but I didn't recognize it for what it was. I took another, and suddenly it was "DYWYPI?"

   

I did not want or need my possessions identified, but I did check out my intrinsics. It was a pretty impressive list:

     

"You were extremely lucky" does seem to apply to this character.

     

And then, just like I told you I was going to do, I restored a backup. I had saved on this very level, when I first arrived. I went back and grabbed the egg. I threw it at the next enemy I saw, but it just missed him and splattered against the wall.

    

A couple of notable things happened before Level 45:

    

• I ate wraith corpses on Levels 42 and 43, rising to character Level 23.

• A master lich cursed some of my stuff on Level 46. I had to waste a few holy water potions uncursing the items. So it wouldn't happen again, I read a blessed Scroll of Genocide and wiped out all liches.

          

Knowing that Scrolls of Genocide exist, you'd think monsters would be extra nice to adventurers.

      

• On Level 44, I missed a trap door and dropped two levels.

• On Level 46, there was a large square area that I couldn't access in the middle of the level. I couldn't find a door into it, and digging didn't work. I figured this was the bottom of an area that could only be accessed from an upper level, so I returned to Level 45, where we picked up the adventure above.

      

Well, there's something to look forward to.

      

After the reload, I finished exploring the rest of 45 and didn't find a way down into the square area. I then went back up to Level 44, which I'd only explored a small part of. The stairs brought me to the southeast corner of some kind of fortress crawling with demons and undead, and a demon lord named Orcus. But he generated friendly, so I didn't have any problem with him except that he kept teleporting next to me and blocking my progress. I eventually killed him on some return trip so he'd just leave me alone.

   

A nurse attacked me as I was cleaning out the area, and I know from spoilers that if a nurse hits you when you're naked and unarmed, she will heal you. If you're already at maximum health, there's a small chance that she'll increase your maximum hit points. She usually then teleports away, but this was a no teleport level. I figured I could stand there and mine her hit point increases indefinitely. But I guess the "no teleport" rule doesn't apply to nurses, because after a couple hits, she was gone. I should mention that I was standing right next to Orcus when I stripped, so I was really trusting that "friendly" flag.

    

It's kind of a fantasy of mine.

      

The rest of the level seemed to be some kind of ruined town. There were a couple of abandoned stores with more mimics than loot, and nothing I particularly wanted. I found one Scroll of Enchant Weapon and one wraith to bring me to Level 24. I found an altar to Moloch last, long after every enemy I had slain on the level had rotted. I briefly considered trying to kill Orcus and then sacrifice him to my god on the altar, but I decided that isn't the sort of thing I would even consider if I didn't have a backup.

   

Level 47 had another central square area that I couldn't access, so I continued downward. Same story again on 48. I vaguely remembered a similar "tower" in the last NetHack version, where you had to find an entrance on the bottom level. But Level 49 was a regular maze level with no stairway up to that central area. I went back to 48 and spent longer than made sense trying to dig my way into it before continuing on. I figured I'd find the bottom level and then backtrack if necessary. In fact, at this point, I got impatient (the mazes really are exhausting). I started digging in the floor, dropping down levels, until I reached a level where the floor was "too hard": Level 55. 

     

I gained nothing by coming here early.

     

I wandered around until I found the "strange vibrating square," which I marked with a pile of gold, then started to work my way back up. On Level 52, I found a central area shaped like a "+", surrounded by water. In earlier versions of NetHack, this is where you found the Wizard of Yendor with the Amulet of Yendor, but I knew things were different here. I put on my Ring of Levitation, crossed the moat, and hacked a hole in the wall. Where the Wizard stood in earlier versions was a teleporter, which took me to the central square on Level 48. 

       

I miss the old version, where I'd be an hour away from ascending right now.

     

I fought through lots of demons (and more killer bees with royal jelly) on the lowest tower level. On the second, more dragons and demons with a large central room full of gold that I didn't bother to take. The top level had still more battles. Someone dropped a Potion of Gain Level, which brought me to 25. A Scroll of Enchant Weapon got Grayswandir up to +4.

   

The top level had another "+"-shaped area surrounded by water, which I approached the same way as the first one. This time, the Wizard of Yendor was inside. I backed off diagonally to deal with his vampire first, but the Wizard teleported outside the room and next to the moat where I was. I blasted him with a Wand of Death and missed. I hit him a second time and he died, dropping the Book of the Dead, which I verified with an "Identify" scroll.

      

Now it gets real.

         

Killing the Wizard before I absolutely had to was a huge mistake. Throughout the rest of the game, he kept appearing at the most inconvenient times, usually right next to me, and attaching, cursing my stuff, summoning packs of monsters, and stealing things. He doesn't even need to appear to curse you; you just get a message that you've been surrounded by a malignant aura at random intervals. He's nearly impossible to kill; get a couple of lucky hits, and he teleports away. I learned to fire a Wand of Death at him the moment he appeared, but I only had about 10 total charges. I envisioned having to get some Recharging scrolls at some point. Later, I found some more wands, fortunately.

   

I knew from spoilers that I still needed a Candelabrum of Invocation, which I'd find in Vlad's Tower, which was somewhere above me, via a staircase that I had missed. I followed Broken25's advice to wish for a Spellbook of Magic Mapping, which I memorized and cast on every level on the way up, quickly identifying the stairs. I found the second stairway to Vlad's Tower on Level 43. I fought through two levels of demons and whatnot, made it to his throne room, hit him twice, and watched him read a Scroll of Teleportation and disappear.

     

Arriving in Vlad's Tower.

     

After not being able to find him anywhere in the tower, I started working my way up the levels with my blindfold on, looking for him. By the time I reached Level 23, where I knew there was a friendly altar, the Wizard of Yendor had cursed just about everything I had. I dipped a stack of potions in the swamp level and brought them to the altar, then dropped them, forgetting I was still levitating. The potions, falling from the extra distance, smashed on the ground. I still had a few other potions, so I went and dipped those, came back, took off my Ring of Levitation, dropped them on the altar, and prayed. Now my god decided to give me a weapon: Stormbringer. But he didn't bless my potions. I tried praying again, but because I had just prayed, he was displeased with me. Annoyed, not knowing where the damned vampire was, looking at my cursed items and rapidly-diminishing uses of Wand of Death, I quit and restored from way the hell back on Level 51.

      

Given this, I probably should have used the sword at least once.

     

I returned to the tower, fought my way up again, and destroyed Vlad this time, taking from his corpse the candelabra. Now possessing the bell, book, and candelabra, I headed back down the various levels to the bottom and its vibrating square. I'm eliding the boring combats and the occasional blasting of the Wizard of Yendor with the Wand of Death on the way. My stock of holy water got low as I kept uncursing items.

    

  

     

I knew I had to perform a ritual with the bell, book, and candelabra at the vibrating square, but I didn't know the order. First, I readied the candelabra by attacking a stack of 7 tallow candles to it. I found those in a shop, I think. Then I tried bell, book, candelabra. When I got to the book part, the game said I "raised the dead," and a bunch of wraiths and zombies appeared. I'm not going to complain about wraiths. Only one left a corpse, but that's another level.

  

I started again with the book and raised a bunch more dead, one of which read a Scroll of Create Monster, turning the whole place into a circus. I teleported out of there and returned slowly. That took another half hour to clear up. 

     

Oh, for the love of god . . .

     

With "book" out as the first option, I tried candle, bell, book next. That worked. There was a blast in the area around me and a bunch of squares got replaced by water. Another wraith appeared just then, left a corpse, and got me to Level 27 when I ate it. I then went down to the bottom level of the dungeon.

   

The result of the completed ritual.

    

The bottom level was full of vampires, ghosts, wraiths, zombies, vampire lords, devils, demons, and mummies. Man, did I get sick of acknowledging combat messages. Not one of a dozen wraiths left a corpse, the bastards.

      

The next time I play, I genocide giant insects first.

      

I opened a door and got attacked by a swarm of Moloch's priests and priestesses, all of which seemed to have the ability to summon giant ants and beetles. I mowed my way through them to a central chamber surrounded by fire traps. There were no openings in the wall, and I couldn't bash or dig through it. Storing my flammable stuff in my Bag of Holding, I began circling the building (I take no damage from fire traps) looking for a secret door. I finally found one on the back side.

    

What if I just offered it immediately on that altar? I didn't think to try.

      

As I entered, the High Priest of Moloch intoned, "Infidel, you entered Moloch's Sanctum! Be gone!" He ran up as I entered. I instantly blasted him with the Wand of Death. On his body, I found the Amulet of Yendor.

   

Taking extra care between moves, I slowly made my way back to the stairway and prepared to ascend 56 levels. I soon ascertained that I could no longer teleport on demand. Random Teleportitis still kicked in occasionally, and I was happy when it did. (I cursed the special levels where teleportation didn't work.) I was also happy I'd used so many Wands of Digging to blast shortcuts through the maze levels. About a third of the time I tried to go up a set of stairs, the game said, "A mysterious force momentarily surrounds you," and I got teleported somewhere else on the level instead. 'Cause that's what this game needed. I also kept getting messages that I felt "vaguely nervous." 

      

I get teleported from the stairs to the center of the maze. This nonsense stopped after I got out of Hell.

       

A wraith corpse on Level 40 got me to character Level 28. In addition to the Wizard of Yendor, Baalzebub dogged me all the way up, frequently appearing and stunning me. (Fixing it just meant touching the unicorn horn, but it was still annoying.) On Level 33, Asmodeus joined him. They kept teleporting away when I actually hit them. I didn't want to waste the Wand of Death on them. I eventually killed them both with my sword on Level 31.

   

I can't tell you how thrilled I was when I finally made it to Level 26 and started seeing regular dungeon walls again. I don't remember the maze levels in the previous versions sucking this bad. I would give anything for a spell that just blasts the hell out of maze walls in all directions.

      

I am so happy to be out of the maze.

     

On Level 25, I tried blessing some potions again, and thankfully it worked this time (I also got Stormbringer). I was able to uncurse most of my stuff that the Wizard had cursed, including my blindfold, magic lamp, and one of the Wands of Death. At this point, I had four wands with six charges total, plus one wish left on my Wand of Wishing. The one good thing is I had plenty of food--so much that I forgot about my cached rations on the castle level.

     

And, eventually, I was on Level 1. I wasn't quite sure what to expect at this point. The last version I played had one final level after you ascended, but I thought I remembered that this one had multiple. As I went up the stairs, the game warned me there would be no return. I continued. "Well done, mortal!" it said. "But now thou must face the final Test . . . Prove thyself worthy or perish!"

     

Believe me, I have seen enough of this place.

   

It was pretty late at night at this point, so I decided to save the endgame area for a new session. Obviously, I've already lost the ability to win "legitimately" in the eyes of most NetHack players, but I still want to see the endgame, analyze my experience, and figure out what I'd do better next time.

   

Time so far: 36 hours. This character is going on 30 hours, incidentally. I have no idea how so many people win it so fast.