Ultima V: You Don't Know What We Can See

Fantasy will set you free.

I did the coolest and stupidest things today. While dithering around trying to think about exactly what to do next, I decided to head back to Lord British's castle and see about that magic carpet I had been told about. I figured it would be in his private chambers on the top of the castle. When I got there, the guard that had thrown me off a few days ago was gone, but I found that the door was surrounded by a magic lock. I read in the manual that the IN EX POR spell would defeat such locks, but although I had the reagents to mix some, I didn't have enough levels to cast it.


Just as I was about to leave, I took notice of a cannon on the ramparts south of me. On a whim, I tried pushing it, and I found I could move it away from the ramparts and towards the door. One shot, and...

God, I love cannons.

Entering the chambers, I was able to (g)et the magic carpet in the doorway, which provides me transportation around mainland Britain faster than any horse, a way across swamps, and coastal transportation easier than a skiff. Awesome! And all because of a chance encounter in Paws.

But that's not all. Inside Lord British's chambers, I found a harpsichord, and remembering that Kenneth (from the lighthouse) had told me that "Stones" is Lord British's favorite song, I looked to my notes for the sequence and gave it a play. This caused the screen to shake and a secret door to open in the northern part of the chamber. Inside was a "sandalwood box." I forgot exactly what it's for, but I do remember I need it for the end of the game.


The fireplace in the room held--predictably--a secret passage behind it, and I decided it wasn't "stealing" to take stuff from Lord British's chambers specifically to rescue him, so I got a scroll of AN TYM (negate time) and a black potion (don't know what it does).

Just as I was congratulating myself for a game well-played, guess what happened. I decided to (k)limb up to the rooftop using the ladder. There's a telescope there, and at nightfall I was able to see a bunch of planets and comets or something. I'm not 100% sure what this is telling me:


Heading downstairs, I found that...goddamn it. The door is magically locked again. Remember what I said yesterday about levels re-setting when you go up and down? I didn't have a cannon inside the room, and I was no more capable of casting IN EX POR than five minutes earlier. Even if I was willing to reload a saved game, I couldn't--for some reason, I had chosen to save it on the roof.

Thus, I made the worst decision for my party that I have ever made in a CRPG: I stood in the fireplace until all of my characters burned to death. Just imagine what that must have been like for them.


We awoke, shrieking and traumatized for life, in Lord British's throne room. Again. Is there any maximum for these things?

But, anyway, wheee! I have a magic carpet. (It seems a little unfair that I got to keep it.)

Something...something...calamari...something. Look, I just died in a fire, all right?

After that, I decided it was time to spend some serious effort restoring my lost experience (I think I have less than when I started the game), equipment, and food. Xyzzy suggested yesterday that I do that by visiting dungeons instead of grinding against bridge trolls, so I thought I'd give it a try. I had Words of Power for both Despise and Wrong, and I remembered from Ultima IV that Despise was in the mountains north of Britain. With a little exploration and a couple of gems, I found it and (y)elled the Word of Power to open it up.


I'll spend more time talking about the dungeons later. For now, I'll just note that the dungeon textures are much better than in the previous game--though still not up to the quality of, say, Dungeon Master. A plaque near the entrance proclaimed that I was in "THE MAZE OF LOST SOULS." Ooooh. Anyway, long story short: the dungeon had virtually nothing in it except pits that I kept falling down, bats (who give you no treasure), and gremlins (who steal your food). No rooms or treasure chests or anything.


So after stocking up on food to replace what the gremlins stole, I took my magic carpet north to the coast above Yew to find the dungeon Wrong. On the way, I popped by the Shrine of Justice and meditated. I didn't realize that this game doesn't require you to find the runes before using the shrines. After meditating, I was given a quest to go to the Codex and "learn of the weakness of the unjust."

I'm the Avatar! Why do I have to prove myself all over again?

The Dungeon Wrong was completely different than Despise. Instead of a "cavern" texture, it had more of a "dungeon" texture--bricks instead of cave walls, with skeletons hanging from manacles. There were rooms in this dungeon, and they had a kind-of "jail" theme. I soon found that, unlike Ultima IV, dungeon rooms in Ultima V do not respawn--at least, not while you're still in the dungeon. Many of the rooms offered good opportunities for level grinding--especially the ones that allowed me to attack through windows with missile weapons, while the enemies just sat there helplessly. By using the feature to "set active character," I could ensure that the character who most needed the experience points got them.

Like shooting rats in a locked jail cell.

The dungeon stopped being fun when I nearly got beat up by some ghosts, so I returned to the surface to camp and see if I could increase in levels. I'm pretty sure that the apparition of Lord British takes care of that when he appears, but he didn't show up the first night I tried it.

I might spend a little more time in Wrong and then start making my rounds of the towns and following up on leads.

Today, I did part of my playing on an airplane, and the guy next to me--he seemed about 20--was utterly baffled as to why I would play a game so old. I tried to suggest that it was no different than watching old movies, or listening to old songs, but he clearly didn't do that sort of thing, either, so I had to give up.