Darkside of Xeen: Th Thr Twrs

I'm not sure this is quite the honorific the authors think it is.

        

The Great Eastern Tower was a confusing maze of stairways and the occasional teleporter, but the monsters were easy. Most of them were mystic mages, and their electrical attacks couldn't even damage us with "Day of Protection" going. They died in one hit. There was a gamma gazer higher in the tower, but even those aren't much of a threat at this point.

    

This is opposed to those other scientifically-grounded mages.

       

Other than monsters, the tower was chock full of stuff. I found the Jewel of Ages and two energy disks. A "Fountain of Minimal Abilities" did nothing for us, but I suspect it raises your attributes to a minimal number if you haven't already crossed it. I should have visited here earlier in the game. There was a fountain that raised us +1 level in exchange for 50 years of our lives, and a book that gave us +5 levels but wiped out all of our secondary skills. Both were easily repaired by dropping a "Lloyd's Beacon" and teleporting back to the Clouds side. In the first case, I ran the ring of druids again and lost those 50 years. In the second, I took a mirror to Shangri-La and paid 100,000 gold (per character) to learn all the skills again.

    

A Book of Fantastic Knowledge gave 50 intelligence to my sorcerer, who already had a lot of intelligence, so that was odd. The only mystery was a mirror that "didn't respond"--which, when you think about it, is normal behavior for a mirror.

     

Like, if your daughter came running up to you and said, "Daddy! My mirror's not responding!," you'd think something was wrong with your daughter, not the mirror.

        

I returned the jewel to Thaddeus the Fountain Keeper, who said it restored the waters of the fountain, so now we could drink from it to remove magical aging. I guess I could have saved myself the trip to the druids. Now that it's so easy, I probably will never get magically-aged again.

    

I decided next to finish clearing the maps, starting with A1. It was a volcanic hellscape full of gamma gazers and lava dwellers. I used the multiple gamma gazers to try out a variety of spells, but honestly, physical damage seems to carry the day in this game. I use my sorcerer mostly for "Day of Sorcery," "Jump," "Teleport," and "Lloyd's Beacon."

         

Three at once is a little dicey, even for my party.

      

In the far corner of the map, we found a fountain that raises hit points by 2,500. This definitely goes on the buffing list if we need it. Not long after, we found a +100 might fountain in D1.

     

It might be worth setting up a "Lloyd's Beacon" right here.

       

In the middle of the lava was Castle Alamar. Even though it seemed premature, we entered, only to be stymied by gates. My ninja couldn't pick them and my two front characters couldn't bash them. I made a note to "return when stronger," but that seems to be a silly thing to write at this stage of the game.

   

I moved on to C1 and soon discovered that, although it wasn't on my list, I had also not explored D1. I did them both together in long east-west strips, moving north. C1 had numerous battles with griffins. They die in one hit but are fast enough to go first, and they concentrate all of their attacks on my knight. D1 mostly had giants. I burned a couple of their lairs. But when I met Guradel the Giant on his couch of snows, he was friendly enough. He said that Alamar intends to "move Xeen away from the sun so that he may return to the world he came from." Even now, Sheltem's mind is still bent on Terra. He also gave us two energy disks.

       

Dialogue options when speaking with Guradel (le guard?).

       

We were now up to six energy disks, so we returned once again to Ellinger. He took them and said that Castle Kalindra is now fully restored. He said we should get the key to the Great Pyramid and take the Orb of Pharaohs back to the Dragon Pharaoh. Then, claiming that "other matters require [his] full attention from now 'til the completion of the prophecy," he took off.

    

The last level of Castle Kalindra to open was the third. It had a full set of services, including the first trainer I've found capable of training above Level 50. I got my characters to 58, but that brought me down to about 1 million in the bank, and I decided to save more training for later, after I figure out the financial situation.

      

In this universe, whether you contract or retain vampirism is just a matter of willpower.

      

The other side of the level had Kalindra's bedchamber with her crown, some barrels that increased might and personality by 10 (permanently), and a dial that let me re-activate the mirror portals. So far, the only one I've seen is in the Great East Tower, though. With the crown, we returned to the dungeon of Castle Blackfang. Wearing the crown was somehow enough to reverse Kalindra's vampirism, and she gave us the key to the Great Pyramid before flying home.

   

Next was the Great Northern Tower, which we had found in D1. Bosco the Dwarven King, camped outside, had given us the key and asked us to find the Chalice of Protection within, as a seer told him he would die from drinking poison. The only enemies in the tower were slayer knights, who die in one hit.

       

They look pretty tough, though.

      

A statue in the lobby proclaimed the slayers as members of the "Order of Voweless Knights." So began a shtick that if I didn't know it was from Might and Magic, I almost certainly could have guessed. Seven alcoves held books containing familiar phrases without the vowels. We had to type in the missing vowels, earning 500,000 experience points for every solution:

     

1. H wh lghs lst lghs bst
2. Lt slping dgs l
3. Th nds f th mny twgh th nds f th fw (one of the series' billion Star Trek references)
   
4. Lv f mny s th rt f ll vl
5. f wshs wr hrss bggrs wld rd
6. fl nd hs mny r sn prtd
7. Dnt lk gft hrs n th mth

         

This answer is, coincidentally, Hawaiian for "tuna sandwich."

       

A couple of them gave me pause, but overall I thought they were pretty easy. I was disappointed to find the solutions under beds on the top floor. Players should have to work through these on their own. The only one that gave me any trouble was the fifth, and this is because the authors apparently think beggars is spelled with a second e instead of an a. In the final alcove was the chalice that Bosco sought, and to get it, I had to type, predictably, AIE, the missing vowels in CHALICE. Bosco gave us 1 million experience points and 100,000 gold pieces.

   

Also in the tower were a set of five thrones. Four of them were labeled "Emotion Throne" and gave my characters some kind of negative condition--depression, insanity, and so forth. But the fifth, the "Euphoria Throne," bestowed 2 levels and 5 bonus points to each attribute if I had sat in the previous four.

    

We emerged from the tower on the skyroad and decided to take it to the Great Western Tower. We were attacked by griffins as we made our way west. We soon came across a wagon occupied by the "Merchant of the Elements." "Between air and earth I constantly travel; a simple clue to unravel," he offered. This puzzled me for a while. I tried several options before finally getting it right with (DUST) for 250,000 experience. As you'll see, I was later asked for what is "between" earth and water, water and fire, and fire and air (there were no riddles for fire-earth or air-water). I got them all right, but the logic differed a bit among the answers.

    

That's not really how mixing elements works.

         

"Danger! Mega Dragon," a sign proclaimed a bit farther along. When we failed to encounter it, I backtracked and noticed a platform floating south of the walkway. We teleported to it and were soon all dead at the hands of the mega dragon.

   

Nonetheless, I was slightly encouraged. We'd at least been able to hit it, which is half the battle. I decided to use the opportunity to try the Ultimate Buff: +15 levels from the shrine in C2, +100 resistances from the fountain in B1, +100 might from the fountain in D1, and +2500 hit points from the fountain in A1. These of course have to be done in one day, with plenty of time left over for the battles you want to fight.

       

Even towards the end of this session, this still increases my effectiveness by 20%.

     

A key question was whether the mirrors that I re-activated work like the mirrors on the Clouds side--specifically, whether they can take you to miscellaneous towers, dungeons, and map features in addition to towns. It turns out they can. After some experimentation, I discovered that the following sequence works best:

    

• Just after 05:00, cast "Lloyd's Beacon" in front of a magic mirror (I used the one in the Great North Tower).

• Take the mirror to the DESERT OF DOOM in C2. 

• Cast "Teleport" three times to get to the +15 level shrine and use it. Cast "Day of Protection" and "Day of Sorcery" any time afterwards.

• "Lloyd's Beacon" back to the mirror and take it to CASTLE ALAMAR in A1.

• Cast "Teleport" twice to get to the +2500 hit point fountain and use it.

• "Town Portal" to NECROPOLIS in B2. Three "Teleports" gets you to the fountain in B1.

• One final "Lloyd's Beacon"/mirror trip to MAGIC MOUNTAIN, from which it's one "Teleport" and two steps to the +100 might fountain.

     

By this time, it should be no later than 11:00, giving you 18 hours to enjoy the buffs. So enhanced, I returned to the mega dragon and soon got my ass kicked again. The problem is that he has like 65,000 hit points, which would take my buffed characters at least 20 rounds to whittle down. But he has an "eradicate" breath that has about a 1 in 10 chance of working on each character each round. The math is thus against us in the long run--for now, anyway. I made a note to return when stronger.

      

The mega dragon's animation has him fading in and out of view.

       

Reloading, I continued west and made it to the northwest corner of the skyroad. "Fire Zone," a sign proclaimed. There was a patch of lava in the middle of the platform, and a voice asked "what do you seek?" I didn't seek anything, but it seemed logical to say FIRE, so I did. And thus were we dropped into the Elemental Plane of Fire, which I had no idea was even a thing in this game.

    

All I can say is, I couldn't have picked a better time to have buffed with +100 resistance, because the plane was basically a sea of lava, crawling with enemies called fire blowers. A shrine in the north asked if we would "accept the test of fire." I said yes. Nothing seemed to happen except the "heavenly choir" sound effect that usually accompanies a temple healing or blessing. On a throne, someone called the "Fire Sleeper" had this to say: "The Guardian has not informed me of your status as Chosen Ones. Much as I would like to, I am unable to fully awaken." Around this time, we ran out the clock on our buffs, so I returned to the regular world (via "Lloyd's Beacon"; I have no idea how to do it otherwise) and decided to save the elemental planes for later.

         

I think we were here too early.

       

Sky golems harried us as we headed south. Another cart had a second Merchant of the Elements; he wanted to know what travels between fire and air. I got it wrong with ASH and then right with (SMOKE). Shortly thereafter, we arrived at the top of the Great Western Tower. The opening led to a small passage with no connectivity to the rest of the tower, but the passage held a pile of bones with the key. We took it, went back up to the skyroad, fell to earth, and entered from below.

    

The tower was an entirely linear affair in which we carved our way through a couple dozen clerics of Mok, killed the heretical high priest, and retrieved two energy disks and the golden pegasus statuette.

       

I have no idea what race these guys are.

         

With the three statuettes in hand, I returned to Luna the Druid. She rewarded us with +5 permanent levels, which annoyed me, so I reloaded. I'm sick of wasting free levels when I still haven't reached the maximum level allowed by my current experience points. After selling everything I'd accumulated this session, I had about 2.5 million, including what was already in the bank. I put everything there and gave a year of my life to working odd jobs for 50 gold per week. I calculated that at 1% interest per day, I should have about 85 million by the time I was done.

     

Well, I was disappointed. In several ways. First, I forgot that there are only 100 days to Xeen's years, so what was supposed to be one year of work turned out to be closer to four. Second, when I went to check my balance, I only had about 3.5 million. You don't earn 1% per day; you earn 1% per week. I must have just always tested it on the last day of the week, so when I saw it 1% higher the next day, I figured it was every day. And since a week is 10 days in Xeen, and there are thus only 10 weeks per year, your effective interest rate is only about 10% per year. The bank was definitely not going to be my savior with this problem.

        

This was, unsurprisingly, a scam.

      

Sighing, I withdrew about 1.5 million, took it to the trainer in Castle Kalindra, and trained until I ran out, with my party at Level 70. I reloaded and trained with just my paladin and found that she was eligible to reach Level 92. This really annoys me, although I'll save discussions for how much for the end of the game.

   

With my new levels, I returned to the basement of Castle Kalindra and cleared out the dragon mummies, although this got me nothing except more experience.

 

Miscellaneous notes:

     

• No "Levitation" is required for the skyroad, although you do need it for some of the miscellaneous clouds alongside it.

• It never gets dark when you're on the skyroad. Between that and the fact that the "Darkside" isn't really dark, and both sides are dark or light at the same times, I have no idea what to make of this world's position in relation to its sun. Perhaps it's an artificial sun like on CRON or VARN, even though the world does seem to orbit a sun.

• The surface of the world is littered with broken pyramids--the same type that transport you to the Darkside from the Clouds side. I assume the idea is that Alamar broke them.

• Missile weapons are simply useless in this game. My volley of four arrows never seems to kill the weakest of enemies. 

• I've talked about my color blindness many times. Oddly, I have no trouble distinguishing the green, yellow, and red used by the health meters beneath the character portraits. Color blindness can be weird sometimes.

     

I finished the session by exploring the rest of the skyroad network, or at least as much as I could. It basically consists of a ring of road that goes around the perimeter of the world, with portals in each corner to the four elemental plains. There are platforms in the middle of the north, east, west, and south sides for each of the four Great Towers. I had to clear out dozens of sky golems, green dragons, and cloud dragons as I made my way around. I was glad to find that I was more than a match for the sky bandits (who turn into cloud dragons when you refuse to pay their 10,000 gold piece "toll"). 

        

A green dragon with a cloud dragon behind him.

       

Studying the automap, I realized there were single-square miscellaneous platforms at various places, and I managed to reach them with very careful use of "Teleport." Many of them had genies in lamps who offered 2 million experience, 200,000 gold, or 2,000 gems. This time, I naturally took the gold. There were a couple of bad genies who offered less favorable options, the best of them resulting in experience but death for the person who rubbed the lamp.

     

"Evil genie" options. The second two result in the deaths of everyone and no reward. If I choose the first one, the character who rubbed the lamp gets killed but also gets 500,000 experience. Death is pretty easy to "cure" at this point.

     

There was a large sky lake in the southern section. It had a few tents where craftsmen offered to make scarabs of protection for gems. These sell for around 2000-3000 gold each, and I suppose it's a very, very long way I could turn gems (of which I have plenty) into gold. There was also a message in a bottle from someone trapped on a sky island in C3 at 7,0. I couldn't figure out a way to get anywhere near this area, but there were a couple of places I couldn't visit because I wasn't worthy to use skyships of the gods. Presumably, the "gods" are in Olympus, and now I'm wondering exactly who I'll find there.

           

Isn't every cloud basically a "sky lake"?

       

I solved the riddles of the last two Merchants of the Elements (MUD and STEAM). Upon reaching one distant platform, I got a message that I'm a "Super Goober." I remember getting a similar message in other Might and Magics, but I can't remember if they were earlier, later, or both.

    

Next time, we visit the Dragon Pharaoh and, I assume, win the game!

    

Time so far: 31 hours