Wizardry V: Fa-La-La

It's like the game knew I was doing Christmas puns this week.

In today's episode of "It Pays to Read the Manual," we discover three major things about Wizardry V that would have made my dungeon exploration yesterday a little easier:

• When shopping in Boltac's Trading Post (any chance Andrew "Werdna" Greenberg and Robert "Trebor" Woodhead had a friend named Catlob?), you have to hit (F)orward to see all the stuff he's got for sale. There's some reasonably cool stuff to buy; I was thinking that I'd be spending my money exclusively on resurrections.

And unlike Demon's Winter, they don't hide the existence of the "Forward" command. I just overlooked it.

• Some of the items you can purchase are missile weapons. Just yesterday, I was chastising the game for not keeping current. Unfortunately, mages and bishops can't use them, but if I give one to my thief, that's a fourth guaranteed attack each round. Moreover, I could theoretically operate an all-fighter or all-thief party with the ability to shoot from rear ranks. I'll have to think about it.

• I ran into five locked doors yesterday that I assumed needed keys. It turns out there's a (P)ick command that I overlooked when exploring dungeons.

These features made the game a little better, but the secret door thing is going to  kill me. I found two of them yesterday, both in somewhat non-obvious places, and I don't know how many more I've missed. I can see that I'm going to have to search pretty much every wall. There are a couple of spells that are supposed to help you find them, but neither of them automatically revealed them for me.

The secret doors and picked locks really opened up the game a bit, though. In short order, I had found the Orb of Llylgamyn, a silver key, and a brass key, which got me through (I think) the rest of Level 1 except for a single locked door my thief can't open. The level has turned out to be an oddly-sized 31 x 30, and if all 10 levels are the same size, this is going to be a long game (as some of you have intimated from your comments).

But that's not the exciting part. The exciting part is that I found three NPCs and, by god, they're true NPCs. I can type keywords and everything. You all promised me that Wizardry V introduced a few innovations, and Ultima IV-style dialogue is apparently one of them.

One NPC was, oddly enough, a talking kettle which, for 100, 500, 1,000, 2,500, and 5,000 gold pieces, gives various hints. I learned that HAIL works with every NPC (see below); I need to figure out why the "Mad Stomper" stomps; I should use the power of the demon to open the gate of the mocking face; and that beyond the Hall of Mirrors lies the Loon. I have no idea what the latter three items mean, and I still need to return with 5,000 gold for the last hint.

He'd better not be laughing at how much he's ripping me off.

A second was a merchant named Ironrose, who sold me a key.

The final NPC, the high priest G'Bli Gedook, had the most to say. I've transcribed my conversation below so you can get a sense of the depth they went into here:

• HAIL: Welcome to the Temple of the Brotherhood. La-La be praised!
• TEMPLE: What about the temple?
• BROTHERHOOD: The brotherhood is an ancient order of disciples that follow the wisdom and teachings of the Gatekeeper. La-La be praised!
• GATEKEEPER: The Gatekeeper is the high guardian of the Triaxial Gate. It is he that understands the true nature of the Triaxial Gate and the elemental forces that travel through it. Do you seek the Gatekeeper?
• YES: La-La be praised! We have great need of thee. The Gatekeeper has vanished into the Triaxial Gate. It is there you must seek him out.
• TRIAXIAL: The Triaxial Gate is the portal for the elemental forces, earth, water, fire, and air to enter our plane of existence. It is the Gatekeeper who maintains the eternal balance among these forces. La-La be praised!
• LA-LA: La-La be praised!
• BALANCE: Whenever the elemental forces become unstable, the balance is disturbed, and a powerful rift materializes in our world. The Gatekeeper enters into the nexus of this rift, known as the Heart, and therein performs the sacred rite, thus realigning the forces and restoring the balance.
• RIFT: The elemental rift has appeared once again, caused by evil incantations originating from within this temple. These dark incantations were invoked by an archrival of the Gatekeeper, a demonic diety [sic] known as "The Sorn." La-La protect us!
• SORN: The Sorn is the very essence of evil incarnate, a diabolical fiend whose source of power comes from spreading chaos and destruction in our world. Once the rift had appeared, the Sorn waited until the Gatekeeper entered into the nexus, and then trapped him there, within the very heart of the forces over which the Gatekeeper was the only source of control. La-La have mercy!"
• ORB: The Divine Orb of Llylgamyn! Use the Orb to open the Triaxial Gate, and then descend into the fury, into the Heart of the Maelstrom!

I have no idea who "La-La" is. I don't remember the name coming up as the world's "diety" before; if it had, I can't believe I wouldn't have remarked on its lameness. (One suspects the developers had a friend named Al.) Of course, I didn't finish any of the previous games.

There was a riddle that stumped me for a while:

The answer was VAMPIRE, but it threw me because the statue is clearly not a vampire. Instead, it looks like a cat, and you have to admit that CAT sort-of goes with the first part of the riddle. Heck, it doesn't go bad with the second part, either. Beyond it was the toughest battle on the level, against a golem, which forced me to resurrect three of my characters. Because of the greedy kettle, I had to grind for a while to earn the cash.

At one point, I fell down a pit to Level 2 and I experienced that half-excited, half-terrified feeling that you get when you lose your tether and you carefully creep down the hallways, looking for a ladder or rope back to a familiar place.

I'm not sure what the bag of tokens is for, but I'm really hoping I get to go on a tilt-a-whirl.

As I prepare to explore Level 2 in earnest, I'm surprised at how much character development occurred on Level 1. My characters are all level 7 and my spellcasters have more than half their spell levels. But I haven't forgotten what franchise I'm playing, and I'm not going to let my guard down. There have been some interesting encounters and innovations so far, and I look forward to seeing what develops further down the dungeon.